Friday, December 31, 2010

Year in, year out

So, today is The Big Day, New Year’s Eve, and tradition dictates that I am suppose to reflect on the previous year and list resolutions for the coming year. However, I extremely dislike the term “resolution” it sounds so cliché, plus it just means that the gym is going to be crowded for the next month. In years past the California Stars household made goals, SMART goals, according to business-savvy J, but this year I am finding no motivation and a lack of inspiration to write any such goals.

I rather like the idea of setting aside time to review and reflect, in fact the past few years we have spent long car rides on I-5 mulling over the previous year and discussing personal, professional and family goals for the New Year. However, this year, I cannot find any motivation. Perhaps it’s a lack of time or a reflection of my overall severely lacking holiday spirit. But, on our recent road trip to Santa Barbara, my only ideas for 2011 goals were to be hipper and to read more American Literature, which are definitely not specific, measurable, attainable, realistic or tangible.

This year past was the year which brought new babies, new friends, new jobs, graduations and some travels. It was the year I established myself as a mother. It was the year which I developed new priorities. It was the year which I developed many new skills and talents, like changing diapers, laundry guru, one-handed cooking. But, mostly, I will remember 2010 as the year my daughter was born. I spent the first several months of this year consumed by her: preparing, waiting, laundry, diapers, poop, nursing, napping, and of course, cuddling. And while, she was the focal of my world this year, and brought about many smiles and laughs, I have also had to deal with many tears and sadness. New words and phrases have been added to my vocabulary this year, including cancer, chemotherapy, and metastasis status and survival rate. In fact, February was the month which essentially rocked my world and one that will forever stay etched in my memory.

While this year I am unable to articulate goals for the upcoming New Year, one thing I am going to try very hard is to keep things in perspective. My days of exhaustion, or the weeks deadlines abound are just that. I am thankful for the work that keeps me busy, the baby that makes me exhausted, and life that continues to surprise me. Life isn’t expected to always be rosy, and we encounter bumps and bruises, along the way, but they are just that. I am going to remember to take deep breaths, be my best self, drink more water, and dance a little more often. I want to take long walks, read my Bible, and just sit down and play. And, of course, be hipper, and look!, I’m almost there, as apparent with my new sunglasses, obtained in San Barbara:


So, happy New Year Internet. Cheers to 2011!

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