Tuesday, October 20, 2020

A Birthday Letter for a Six-Year Old

My darling Violet,    

 "Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time." -RBG 

A few weeks ago, I came back from my morning run to find you in a navy-blue dress and my (only!) pair of high heels with a bag in one hand and an old flip phone in another. I innocently asked if you were ready to tackle your math pages and you dropped your bag and looked up at me with a voice dripping with contempt. You were unable to complete your school day, you told me, because there was a murder among the stuffies. You were heading up the investigation. Your daughter had found the body, your mom was a primary suspect; "There's been a lot of drama at home" you told me. 

Basically, I guess what I'm saying is that there is no doubt your imagination is strong. If it's not a murder investigation you are solving, you are riding yoru horse, Lulu (your bicycle), fighting outlaws and bounty hunters in the front yard. Other times, your babies (your dolls) are sick with COVID and you now have to homeschool them, or you play Queen coming up with elaborate play scenes - usually revolving around a chaotic revolt among the peasants. Clearly, you are processing the pandemic through social emotional play. 

At six years old, you change your clothes approximately twelve times a day; you are the neighborhood dog whisperer, petting and loving on all dogs you come across. You are constantly telling stories; making up knock-knock jokes and forever asking to look at old pictures (of your childhood - you tell me). You are motivatved to do schoolwork by the snack selection I offer, and you refuse to wear any shoes except blue sparkly high heels. You love to snuggle, insist chocolate is a breakfast food and ask for Annie's Mac & Cheese daily. 

A few weeks ago, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Supreme Court Justice, and all around badass, passed away at 87 from complications with cancer. She is mourned across the nation on both sides of the political aisle, not just for her leadership on the Supereme Court, but her fight for equality. She was a prominent women's rights figure and her writing and dissents have reshaped the justice system. She served as inspriation to many whether speaking about feminism, LGBTQ+ rights, marriage; RBG always came to the table with wisdom to impart. 

Her death came as a shock to me - perhaps it's this unpredictable, messy and muddled year. It's the frenzied and tumultuous upcoming election, or maybe I just took for granted her quiet strength and constant presence on a progressive court. As I read through news articles and listened to tributes in the days following her death, I came upon a quote from a 2012 interview concerning an employment rejection as a junior associate; "So often in life, things that you regard as an impediment turn out to be great, good fortune." If RBG had gotten that job as a junior associate at a prestigious law firm - she would have retired decades ago as a senior partner, not go on to gain that first clerkship. What she is saying here, my darling, is that as difficult as it can be at times, we need to view setbacks in a larger context. The adversity we are facing now might just be setting us up for a great triumph down the road. When we are dealt a perceived poor hand or something doesn't turn out the way we hoped, maintain faith that whatever transpires next will be even more purposeful and beautiful. 

Violet, one of our favorite ways to spend time together (besides reading) is to go for a bike ride. Generally, I run with Piper next to you on your bike, and we explore the neighborhood together. The other day, on one of our runs we tackled a bit of a hill. It was the end of our three miles, and your legs were getting tired; I heard you talking to yourself. You can do this. Think of the sweet downhill. It is hard, but hard work makes us stronger. You got this. My love, I had never been prouder. 

Sweet girl, you are a shining beacon of light spreading love, light and laughter into darkness; infusing kindness and positivity into all that you do. Keep pedaling on. 

I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the water in the oceans. 

Love, Momma 

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