Movie Review: Star Trek Movie 2009

I'm not sure how, but on Thursday night, I was coerced into going to see Star Trek. J has been looking forward to it for months, and since I've dragged him along to such cinematic masterpieces as How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, I figured I probably owed him a favor or five. The deal was sweetened when three of my favorite people who share my same last name were added to the evening's plans, and the whole itinerary grew to also include beers and dinner at The Yard House, home to The World's Best Sweet Potato Fries. And that was that! I was in! Honestly, load me with enough of the finest Molson Canadian beer and I'd probably agree to go see Sex and the City with you, or a documentary about Slugs: Nature’s Little Scamps. Which would be more interesting, do you think? Wait – don’t answer that.

(By the way, a brief aside: The Yard House is a chain restaurant with a boatload of beers on tap, and a sports game on TV. I am not usually one for chain restaurants, but hey, I typically like any place with more than ten beers on tap. They have the typical domestic beers on tap, imports, microbrews, plus fun cocktails and martinis, for example: Purple Cow. I’m not sure what exactly is in a Purple Cow, but the mental image is fun).

So now is probably a good time to mention that I hadn't seen any of the previous Star Trek movies or any of the TV shows before this one, and I don't really know a whole lot about Star Trek at all, to be honest. I had heard the name “Spock” before, and knew that it took place in, well, space. But, not much more beyond that. Which means that yes; perhaps this was not the absolute best film for me to see. But seriously, this movie was great for the diehard sci-fi geeks (yes, you know who you are) and those with little enthusiasm about the epic saga.

It was endearing, suspenseful, and even garnered several laughs. From the high-intensity start, the movie sets the scene for those familiar and unfamiliar with the premise, without the use of flashbacks (have I even mention how much I hate flashback scenes? I do.) The tension and friendship that developed through Kirk & Spock’s relationship is truly a result in great acting and superb writing. It’s a movie that doesn’t take itself so seriously – it’s not a major work of art. It’s not trying to win an academy award. (For instance, Star Wars: 1, 2 & 3, those were movies that were just trying way too hard). It’s the perfect summer-blockbuster movie. Like Mission Impossible; only Chris Pine instead of Tom Cruise.

However, one that seriously irritated me was the space-time continuum. It’s not at all logical, and doesn’t make sense. How can the older Spock be talking to the younger Spock at the same time? If time is on another dimension, and our past is our past, how can the future Spock procreate for a species that has already existed?

See, I told you:

IT. DOESN’T. MAKE. SENSE.

It might be because I don’t have the appreciation for Leonard Nimoy (who apparently is the original Spock, I gathered this by the cheering and whistling that erupted after his first on-screen appearance).

And also, why does everyone only wear spandex uniforms? Here’s a little tip: I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to see most people in spandex. In fact, if this were to depict the future, I would pay money to NOT see people in spandex. In the future, we probably won’t have money either. In which case, it seems that I’m screwed. But, I digress.

So, while I was completely expecting this to be a three hour snooze fest, I was thoroughly captivated through the majority of the movie. (So, the ending was a bit far-fetched, but eh what can I do?) But, still I was pleasantly surprised. But, please let’s leave it at that. I do not need to run out and see the other bazillion Star Trek movies.

And for now I leave you: live long and prosper.