Just call me a snot-sucking ninja

All day Sunday---nay, pretty much all weekend---I disinfected my house because of this retched cold harboring in the nose and chest of my sweet little girl. A cold in a baby, for the uninitiated, basically turns your always cheerful, independent little angel into a whining, snot-covered little ogre. And, if there is one thing that I despise about motherhood, something I completely and utterly loathe, it is using the horrible nose bulb thing to suck out Daisy’s snot. I basically avoided the booger-sucking bulb as often as possible. However, with this cold creating epic amounts of snot, so much that I was spending nights and naps consoling a crying, wheezing baby, I knew I needed to figure something else out.

Enter Nosefrida: The Snotsucker Nasal Aspirator, aka: the grossest thing I have ever loved.

On Friday, after class I made a quick, sleep-deprived stop at Target to pick up the Nosefrida (also bought: paper towels, laundry detergent, antibacterial wipes; verdict: world’s most boring Target run ever.)  Immediately upon entering the house, I whipped out my latest purchase, carefully read the instructions, psyched myself up, and with my own lung power, sucked the snot out of my baby’s nose.

And, if I didn’t understand true love and motherhood before that moment, I now do (cue angels singing).

Basically, it is exactly like it sounds. You have a 5-inch long cigar-shaped plastic collection chamber connected to a 15-inch flexible tube. A foam filter prevents the snot from entering the tubing (and into your mouth), but you have plenty of time before it reaches the filter. To use, you place the plastic against the baby’s nostril and use your own breath to draw out the snot. I swear it sounds much grosser than it really is. All pieces are dishwasher safe (although, we haven’t had time for it to run through the dishwasher, so I just wash it in the hottest-soapiest water I can stand, and let air dry.) Basically, the Nosefrida allows me to suction her nose so much more effectively without shoving that horrible bulb in her nostrils. It has taken a few times to get the position correct, basically pinning her down so that she can’t swat away the contraption too soon. Internet, this was, hands-down, the best $20 I have ever spent (I bought extra filters, just in case).

And now, I know exactly what gift I’m going to bring to my next baby shower. Yep, I’ll probably be the most popular one there, or at least it’ll definitely be the most talked about.